So the zombie apocalypse is at hand and you are scrambling about to get all of your supplies in order. Just when you think that you have everything together a zombie bursts through your window and you are dead.
No restarts in the real world… Luckily, this is all hypothetical, so we can go back and assess what you have done wrong.
You didn’t board up your windows!
Realistically, you want to board up all of the entrances and exits to your home in the case of a zombie emergency. Depending on the style of zombies, you can get away with only boarding everything on ground level up. If your zombies aren’t rabidly crawling up the sides of your house, and are the more peace loving ground-shufflers: it is probably safe to just board up everything within arms reach of the ground.
Now, there are a few ways that you can go about boarding up your house, and some of them actually have pretty good, real-world applications.
Nails and Whatever Is Lying Around
If you are going for the quick route, and have nothing planned in advance, nails, a hammer, and whatever heavy boarding is at hand are going to be your best options. You can rip doors off of closets in your home, boards out of the attic flooring, or even shelving and cabinet doors will do in a pinch. These are all luxury items when it comes to zombie time. Make sure that, because this is a zombie situation, you hammer your nails in at angles, making the boards harder to pull out. Be sure that you secure the boards into studs in the walls. I would recommend, if you are living in a house with molding around the windows, that you take the molding OUT first, and then hammer in your boards. Molding is usually held together by small nails and are often made of pretty flimsy wood.
Plan Ahead: Indoor Plywood
My hurricane boards will have CLASS.
If you have the time, money, or inclination, you should take some time to cut boards for your windows. For real world applications! Have pre-cut boards stored somewhere, and be sure to label them so that you know which windows they go over. This way, in case of zombies, or hurricanes, you have the boards prepared ahead of time. These you would want to pre-drill holes for screws, so that you can take them down when the hurricane is over. This is fairly useful planning for anyone living where high winds or huge storms could occasionally be a problem. It is also useful in case riots ever break out in your city, or any disaster occurs where you don’t want broken glass sailing into your living room.
If you have time to board up the outside of your windows, by all means, do so! If the zombies are still fairly far out, this will not take much time, and will prevent zombies or hoodlums breaking your windows.
This is what I recommend if you do not have a lot of money to put into really high-tech window protection. It means that, somewhere in your home, you have boards that will go neatly over your windows in case of a storm. Heck, if you want, you can make an afternoon of having the kids paint the plywood. They can make pretty designs on the outside, or even just paint it to match the house. Then, when everyone on your block has ugly boards over their windows, yours will look awesome.
Plan Ahead: Shutters
If you are in an area that has a LOT of storms, you might want to invest in shutters. You can make or install pretty sturdy shutters on the outside of your windows that lock from the inside, thus ensuring that your glass windows will not only stand up to a storm, but take a pretty heavy beating from the zombie hordes.
These can open and latch back for good weather and zero zombies, and they can make a pretty addition to your house. Then, when the rioting over the latest poor football scores start, you just pull your shutters in and let hoodlums set fire to your car instead of smashing your windows.
You can make frames to go around your windows, if you don’t want the shutters for some reason, and firmly secure them down. Make one side detachable so that you can slide a piece of plywood into pre-cut grooves, and then reattach the side. Viola! Plywood without all of that drilling/hammering hassle. I still think that if you are going to go through this effort, though, you may as well have shutters.
When You Hit The Road
When you leave your house to move to a more defensible location, there is no real harm in taking 10 extra minutes to board up the doors on the way out. Make sure your house is completely sealed behind you, so that it is an unsavory target for squatters (they want houses that are easy for them to access) and leave a message on the entrances that explains that you plan on coming back to your home. This way, should the zombie menace be eradicated, you might not have to worry about chasing some yokels out of your house when you get back to it.